Absolutely nothing.
But i'm biased. In the evolutionary model, they must serve some purpose, or else they wouldn't be so prolific. Alpha males, bullies, internet tough guys (trolls) and all there ilk have been gradually getting their proverbial day in court over the last few years. Public media finally started to catch on to the severity of the problem but even after the columbine shooting, it hasn't been enough. More lives have been lost to cyber bullies, a young man jumped off a bridge after someone "outted" him on his campus as being gay, a young girl hung herself, and countless others abound for you to find on the net.
We focus so keenly when something goes wrong but what about the altogether unsexy idea of preventing these kids from having to endure SO much abuse that they break?
I am an anomaly, that's for sure. My survival to this point that is. As anyone reading this will know, i am open with my being diagnosed with ASD last year and using this blog to attempt to make sense of what that means for me.
I was a great big flashing neon target as a kid. Not only was i a spectrum kid in a time before Aspergers or variations of classic autism were diagnosed, but i was severely asthmatic and allergic to just about everything to boot. My uncle, who was something of an informal mentor in some respects when i was young said i was a "Bully magnet." How incredible RIGHT he was. Of course, no one knew, medically anyways, WHY.
Being weak is always a trigger for sharks and vultures to circle, and my reduced physical condition was a dinner bell for hungry coyotes. I carried multiple inhalers, including one i took regularly which was an inhaled steroid, indicating the seriousness of my condition. I had to be rushed to the hospital on more then one occasion due to asthma attacks severe enough that the inhalers failed to work and i was in danger of immediate suffocation.
This is the genetic material i have to work with. Little kids should not have multiple near death experiences. I wouldn't recommend it.
Apart from being frail, which made me akward physically, i was, well, WEIRD as i would become accustomed to hearing, and so you know, double whammy. My gym teachers routinely berated me and made fun of me, quite vocally in front of whole classes, creating a precedent by which other students would participate in making fun of me. If the teacher could do it, well why couldn't they? I was afraid of swimming because of my suffocation episodes, so i could not complete those requirements. I could not run so i could not play basketball or baseball or kickball or soccer or any number of sports. I failed every state mandated physical requirement test. You remember, the ones with the running a mile, doing x sit ups, pull ups, push ups, all that stuff.
I was odd and seemed to have no sense of what was acceptable behavior. I did not salute the flag because i did not understand what it's purpose was. I would get out of my seat and walk around the classroom in the middle of attendance, sometimes in the middle of class, and have no sense of it being wrong (this stuff will be further touched on when i write my piece of getting a large chunk of my SCHOOL RECORDS, only a few months ago.) I sat in the back of the classroom and made odd drawing and wrote poetry. I was fasinated with computers and in the 3rd grade had already fixed the schools apple 2 computers in multiple classrooms. I taught myself how.
As a result of all this strange behavior i fell under the axe of a common social phenomena, DESTROY THAT WHICH IS DIFFERENT. I was constantly insulted, and when i did not respond back, it was escalated into physical violence against me. I was beat up. Terrorized. Chased home by bullies so often the school just started letting me out 30 minutes earlier then everyone else. I was knocked unconscious in the lunch line when someone punched me in the back of the head. I was punished for being different by the bullies, and then punished by the administration for "getting into fights." and often suspended and penalized, painted as a bad kid, a troubled child. I experienced this for most of my time in school from 1st grade all the way until high school. I was hospitalized as a result of all of this abuse, and i became extremely depressed and was thought to be suicidal. I did in fact have suicidal thoughts, as a result of all this, and those thoughts were frequently part of my writing. I never had a "plan" and i never made an attempt. I was working through these worries and ideas WITH writing. I was being constantly monitored, a bug under glass, from the start. Therapists evaluated me every year, different medications were tried, a barrage of tests at every age.
But when they kept reading my writing, and decided i was "Dangerous" they had me thrown in a mental institution. It was here that after 6 weeks of serious confinement with severely damaged and dangerous adolescents that an alternative picture began to emerge. The people i was locked up with were frightening to me. A young child that burned his neighbors house down for being bullied. A kid that took his parents car and tried to RUN OVER his tormentors. Multiple cases of attempted suicide, one kid that tried to electrocute himself. I felt fairly normal by comparison, and that started to show in this confined environment. Within the first 2 weeks the orderlies and doctors treated me differently. They gave me my own room instead of sleeping with people that would have night terrors and become violent. They let me stay up later then all the other kids to watch tv, which was an unheard of privilege. They let me trade some of the food my grandmother had brought me with the staff to order myself a pizza. They let me have a writing utensil, listen to music, and even play with my Magic cards. By the end of it that state of NY had deemed me to be sane. Not as i had been depicted by those around me. I was not a violent dangerous monsterous teen, i was a kid who was abused so much, for so long, that i had become aggressive in response to threatening behavior, and taken out of that threatening environment i was relatively OK. Undeniably weird, definitely different,but certainly not "Insane."
I could no longer trust my mother, or another of my stepfathers, as my mother was complicit in me getting to this state, and also had ensured my detainment by taking my written work and sharing it with others, who freely misinterpreted every word. My stepfather was another source of fear and physical abuse and so, i opted to go into foster care.
Thankfully after a short while my grandparents petitioned the court for custody of me, and i was able to find some relief, but there was STILL more school to complete. Much more to yet to endure.
I think, it if weren't for my ASD, i would have experienced the same end as those tragic cases. Death by my own hands, or a violent act to defend myself against my abusers when no one was present to act on my behalf. Because i always felt this vague emotional disconnection i had always tried to logic out my problems. To find a solution, to solve the puzzle. I didn't take it as personal as a normal kid would. I was mechanically trying to make sense of why i was so disliked, and in that was, was insulated from the greater harm of knowing exactly what was going on.
Kids on the spectrum now, at least seem to have a fighting chance, but it is still an uphill battle. There are more resources now, early detection is common as well, but that doesn't change human nature.
People will still seek to DESTROY THE DIFFERENT as it is part of the primal reptile brain, and these children CANNOT protect themselves. It is up to you, up to adults, up to society to take responsibility for these kinds of horrors that are visited upon the affected and stand up and protect them. Go one step further and make the effort to punish those who would abuse or victimize ANYONE in such a way. Drag the bullies and abusers into the light of day. Expose them as the complete monsters they are and make them suffer at the hands of public exposure. This cruelty should not be allowed to persist. This vile behavior cannot continue. If we want to prevent these tragedies from occurring and increasing in frequency we must take every step necessary to be better people, better role models, and better stewards of our youth.
I have so much more to say about bullies, but this experience, and reliving it, is emotionally exhausting, and i need a change of thought, let me leave you with this.
Not many make it through like i did. And i am not without permanent holes in my life and psyche, spectral wounds and scars that can never hope to heal. I wouldn't wish that fate upon even my worst enemy.
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