The passage of time, decay, entropy and many forms of failure.

Failure takes many forms, and we are not always the reason it occurs.  

Yeah, sometimes you try real hard to win the big game, but the other team is just a bit better and you lose.  That is not personal failure.  That is life.  Maybe you could have run faster you think, maybe you could have thrown farther you think, maybe the one catch or shot or yard you missed mattered enough to have swung the odds you think, but this way lies madness. 

There are too many moving parts.  Too many variables for you to blame yourself for this "failure" as you see it.  YOU lost, you think, forgetting the team. It has happened, and it will happen again.

Losing, or failing, is the cost of playing the game.  If you refuse to play out of fear of failure, the results are all together more dour.  The prognosis, worse.

To protect yourself from the possiblity of breaking your ankle out there in the world, you break it yourself, in your bedroom, and you never leave for fear of the thing you would instead make come to pass yourself. 

Hope your enjoying that cold comfort of being right about your own misfortune by causing it yourself because NO ONE ELSE WILL ENJOY HEARING ABOUT IT.

You will be ruthlessly negative, hopelessly negative, the one that always complains.  The one for which things are never good enough.  The latte is never quite right, The weather is never QUITE right, the food is never quite right, the boy or girl or job or show or car or shirt or child or pet or show or song IS NEVER 

QUITE

RIGHT

.........You were so exhausted by life so now you've taken to becoming exhausting to everyone else who is STILL trying. Still fighting. Still climbing while boulders and bolts rain down on them, while radical winds try to RIP them from the steep incline, rather then encourage them, root for them, hope for them, you snipe from afar, shooting covert arrows and throwing stones.  Because in THEIR EFFORT you see your own failures.  Your own compromises.  Your own hurt.  HOW DARE THEY NOT BE BROKEN.  HOW DARE THEY KEEP TRYING.  I wish they fell off the mountain and they were crippled down here.  

With me.

Because i miss them.  

On some level you do. You miss trying, you miss being on that mountain.  You miss when people heard your complaints as you both clung to the sides and responded with, "I know RIGHT? This is fucking CRAZY!" because you were trying, and yes maybe even failing, TOGETHER. 

It's a relatable state to be in.

A human state to be in.  Try to be brave.  Try to try.  You may not win, but the alternative is truly a fate worse than failure.

I am garbage.

 I am humanoid garbage.   I am worthless. 

I am part of a system wherein billionaires and millionaires can get away with raping children, sex trafficking,  fixing presidential elections, gerrymandering to steal districts,  insider trading and accepting bribes to accumulate mass personal wealth, and all but drinking the blood of live babies on national television under a backdrop of a giant MAKE AMERICAN GREAT AGAIN billboard while legions of blood thirsty demons cheer in support. 

There are no consequences for these inhumane actions.  No laws that are adhered to or enforced.  There is no punishment waiting for these bad actors in this world,  and no karmic receipt appears to be manifesting as we suffer at their behest.  They harm us and the ticket is hand waved.  They steal from us and the supreme court protects them.  They hate us and try to kill us with every action.  They Black Bag protesters and anyone non white or opposed to their doctrine of hate. They try to extract more from us each and each waking hour in the form of lower wages, higher taxes, lower benefits and draconian loopholes we must jump through to receive the meager stipend they allow us. 

There are no laws now.

If there are no consequences for bad actors, for the purest of evil, then the fact that laws exist at all is an illusion.  If the laws only apply to the poor,  then they are not laws, they are polite suggestions that money renders ineffectual.  Those 800 billionaires own 67% of all the wealth in america, while 50% of the population of the U.S. owns 2.5% of the total wealth of the country.  

So 175 million people,  own less then one twenty fifth (1/25) of what 800 billionaires own.  

There is only one conclusion I can draw from this.

I am trash.  Subhuman garbage.  I do not deserve to live because i am told so by my government each and every day.

Every time i go to the dentist and they tell me my insurance does not cover dental i am told that i am garbage and deserve to suffer and die.  Every time i go in for medical care and am presented with a bill that dwarfs what i make i am being told by my government that i should just go die. Every time i vote and it ends up being meaningless because the electoral college and citizens united have rendered the idea of a popular vote obsolete THEY ARE TELLING ME TO GO DIE.

I have no voice, I have no influence, i have no money, i have no power.  I am paste to be ground down to build parking lots for Porsche's and Buggati's. 

I am told to vote, to protest to organize but also shown that my vote is worthless, and that if i protest i will be shot, harassed, imprisoned or deported.  I am told to take part in my local government that is equally corrupt and worthless.  I am told to do these things while i struggle to not die from exposure.  To not die from lack of health care. To not die from lack of basic resources and food.  I am told to work 40 hours a week.  No 50 hours a week.  No, 2 jobs.  No 2 jobs and work in government.  Also your rents going up.  Also food prices are going up.  Also the value of your money is going down.  Also we can't afford to give you a raise this year in a soft market.  Also those immigrants are why we can't give you a raise.  Also nazis are pretty cool actually.  Also women should be enslaved maybe. Also police wear masks now.  Also we don't need police.  Also death squads with no remorse and no code of conduct and no oversight sounds better to us. Also beating colored people might be what we have to do to protect your job.  Actually now your job IS beating colored people. Actually it's okay to call them colored people.   

Remember that.

And we are supposed to endure this?  We are supposed to be MENTALLY HEALTHY while this occurs?  We are supposed to seamlessly continue to function while we are lied to by pedophiles, thieves, grifters, liars, drug addicts, losers and morons all the while they are fucking killing us?  

It was passive once, they just didn't care about us.  Now it's active.  THEY WANT US TO DIE.

To what end, i don't know, but i know one thing for certain is that I AM GARBAGE. 

We are social creatures and we judge each other ruthlessly.  We accept that social stigma is how we keep a society in line and that natural social pressure keeps anti social behavior in check by pointing it out and insulting and berating those who would act out with anti social behaviors. 

We also judge ourselves by how others appraise us.  

So given all this information. I know what they think i am.

Given what you know now, 

What are you?